Sublimity
This is a poem I wrote recently. I wouldn’t say it’s in its finished form, but perhaps you might have some helpful comments on how it can improve. I had music buzzing in my head as I wrote it, and riding along that wave I wrote almost half the piece. Then my mom spoke to me, and I couldn’t quite hold the same state of mind after that. But I’ll let you enjoy it; if you have any helpful critiques, please reply!
Sublimity
Sublimity trailed along our road
In silent trees, as they glowed
Above our daily cares, in the cold.
It came to us through stories told
Of sights and smells and sounds that held
Us breathless and in awe–what we’ve beheld.
Come winter, spring, and there appeared
The stars and planets in our atmosphere . . .
Would you believe the beauties that we’ve seen?
Do you remember all those joys and what they mean?
My ink runs dry as our song winds down,
Perhaps because of the silence around.
The pictures in my mind of you are watery:
You looked up at the glowing trees to see
If you could catch their breaths, which I had heard,
While I gazed high to see what had occurred
Up in the sky: brilliant beings twinkling nigh,
And thunder ranging hither, thither, up on high.